


Trainwreck of Deathwish

by StarsInTheWind



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, a real lunatic, conductor is fucking insane, dj grooves has a terrible fashion taste but some common sense, i gave hat kid a bat, kill bite murder fuck uhhh fluff, platonic fluff, possible angst mixed in the cauldron, snatcher is the catalyst of this, update: I DROPPED IN ANGST LIKE CHEMICAL X, who thought this would be the first thing i post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 04:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30066915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsInTheWind/pseuds/StarsInTheWind
Summary: They didn't understand exactly why, they were back in this place, or completely what was going on, but they sure felt the physical pain and emotional toll.just me writing about killing two birds, they both get hurt but don't worry 1 only conductor is stupid enough to ignore it 2 hat kid comes to say hi afterwards and they all are fine.
Kudos: 9





	Trainwreck of Deathwish

**Author's Note:**

> last night i woke up at 3 am turned on killing two birds and had a fucking ascension

It was rather… _fuzzy_ , to say the least. It was hard to pay attention to what was going on, much less understand it. The Conductor knew it hurt, he could feel it, but his processing was a bit slow, like if he had one too many cups of something. He could hear some kind of music- Not from any of his productions, mind you, blasting across the room, express owls and moon penguins murmuring and watching with a withheld anxiety. He could see DJ Grooves next to him- huh? Weren't they- and the kid with the hat infront of them, a bow tied into their hat and a bat in hand. He felt an unusual, _powerful_ aggression, one he'd never felt towards the kid. It chewed at him, but was nothing compared to the confusion of why they all were brawling like this. He didn't have the focus to figure out exactly why, but his distraction didn't help much in this situation.

 _Bonk!_ DJ Grooves glanced over just in time to see Conductor be thrown back with a painful sound by Hat Kid's bat. A distant anxiety had settled over him- farmilar, too farmilar this was- as the lights went out- knives? Yeah, before he threw knives at said kid. Of course they missed, before he charged forward to slash at them himself, also being thrown onto the stage by the blow of their weapon- Since when did they have a bat? Didn't they have some kind of umbrella?- He wasn't sure either quite why he was back here again, doing the same dastardly thing he thought he learned from. His thoughts were interrupted by the force of landing on the wooden stage, a sudden burst of adrenaline prompting him to hesitate, tripping (His heels looked nice, but were _not_ fun to walk in) onto the floor, sitting there for a moment before without even realizing, jumping to his feet and climbing onto a disco ball, before hitting it to cause it to fall. _Bonk._

This rage only grew- alongside the injuries- till it burned at the core, the Conductor not quite understanding why he felt so unimaginably upset, just that he felt the need to vent it. He leaped of the stage, kicking off against a decoration and diving at Hat Kid, which only earned him a landing into the floor and a one way ticket to getting hit with a bat town. He landed back just briefly to see DJ Grooves on the floor, his glasses having dropped just enough to be able to see his pupils were small slits. Despite their rivalry, this brought forth a distant pang of concern- he'd never see him like this, he always seemed to have such a level head- before said bird leaped up off the stage again. Conductor could now acutely feel the bruises burning like a wildfire, as much as he wanted to just hit the floor and stop, as much as his injuries screamed to stop, he didn't. Whatever drove him, he hated it. It kept pushing him like a dog being pushed outside in the rain. He jumped back up, going to cling to one of the poles in the corner, tossing down some bladesaws- how come they didn't ruin the floor?- before diving at the kid, being hit square in the chest by their wood bat- oh, ow- before they landed back.

DJ Grooves this time missed the stage, hitting against it and falling to the floor, oh, how everything burned. He sat there for a moment, glancing up. Hat Kid took that final strike, hitting them rather hard in the face, making him hit the front side of the stage, his sunglasses cracking at the blow. Penguins would cry out in fright at the attack, some trying to jump down to help but being held back by their more reasonable brethren. DJ Grooves hit the floor, now feeling the true extent of his injuries. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't struggle to his feet- Hes really tired, a nap would be just fine- before he went and passed out from exhaustion.

If The Conductor was angry earlier, his rage had just boiled over. Sure, he and DJ Grooves were rivals, but he sure as hell would not stand for him being hurt like that. He was so angry, he just didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like he was on the tipping point, he just shortcircuited on what to do, he couldn't process it all. He dropped off the stage, throwing knifes in rapid sucession, before lunging forward to take a stab. He gave her a pretty nasty wound on the arm, to which Hat Kid retaliated with a panicked swing of her bat, sending The Conductor flying just a bit. He swore that by the time this was done, something at least would be broken- why was he here again?- before he took a dive to the kid. They took a grand swing, hitting him right perfect in the face. He reared back, startled and now very dizzy, before collapsing to hit the ground. Curse weakspots. He went to get up, gripping a wooden pole. He shook rather violently, very wobbly. He went and stared at Hat Kid, who seemed to hesitate now, seeing just how bad he was now made them feel bad. Before they took a reinforced grip on said bat, and taking a stare at the floor. They go to the Conductor, hesitating, before swinging their weapon again, knocking him out on impact, loosing grip on the wood board.

DJ Groove's awakening wasn't a particularly _pleasant_ one, at least the penguins had moved him to his room, which he was thankful for, but oh how _sore_ he was. He couldn't even begin to count how many bruises he felt, he made the decision to stay lying down and trying to reflect on what exactly happened. He knew a fight had happened in the lower floors, but he couldn't even begin to _fathom_ how or why that was. As things began to click, it dawned upon him that Conductor was also involved. Knowing that dumbass perfectionist, he'd start running around like a startled chicken, making sure everything was alright. He groaned in frusteration at the sheer idea, before hauling himself up to wait for Conductor. He took a quick glance at the room, colorful and dimly lit, a lava lamp on a low dresser nearby. The DJ opened the door- hissing at the light- before settling down to wait.

  
  


The Conductor woke up in arguably worse condition. He _ached,_ and a part of his chest still burned like it had just happened. Things came to him a lot faster, then he would've liked. He scrambled out of his resting spot, nearly tripping twice just getting to the door. Conductor tried to rush off, going to go check on everything, before he was tripped by a specific someone. His thoughts coming to a screeching halt. He squawked in startle, landing on the floor rather painfully. He glanced up to see a very specific rival of his, giving him a very dissapointed gaze. "What was that for you peck-neck!" He snarled, moving to carefully get up.

DJ Grooves _laughed._ "Dear, I think we both know you aren't fit to be running around like some rabid chicken."

The comment only seemed to further tick Conductor off. "1, I told you not to call me that, 2, Unlike you, I try to keep everything in order! And you wonder why you always lose."

  
  


"Don't make me drag you back. You won't be helping yourself any to hurt yourself worse. I need some kind of competition Conductor."

Before he could spit back some insult or excuse, loud footsteps were heard echoing down the hall as a familiar hatted kid ran up to the two, beginning to get fussy about them arguing. The Conductor stayed silent, before sighing, giving the kiddo a quick pat. "Lass, I'll be fine. No need to worry."

DJ Grooves was quiet for a moment, biting his lip. "Say, darling, would you happen to know what happened earlier?" 

Hat Kid stayed quiet, before shrugging in response.

"Well, if you don't know, I suppose theres no use questioning. Conductor, you get back to bed. You can check on everything later, your owls probably have things handled."

The Conductor just sighed, wanting so badly to smack him. "Fine, but you have to watch the Lassie while I  _ rest. _ " He emphasized his statement with a bit of sass, although he distantly knew DJ Grooves was right. 

"Fine by me, now get to bed you pile of salt." 

"Call me that again and I will  _ clock you, DJ Grooves." _

**Author's Note:**

> take this you silly content starved fandom you deserve it also thanks for reading i guess?


End file.
